Letting Go / Releasing Unwanted Emotions

How to Release Negative Emotions

Our emotions act as a feedback system — an emotional GPS so to speak. It navigates us… Sometimes our feelings start with a thought, sometimes it seems our feelings start and create thoughts, the point is they are both closely related to one another and hard to tell them apart at times. But learning to live consciously and be empowered to have control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviours to give you the experience of life you want takes a little bit of practice. It’s a life skill.

Whenever we are feeling bad… upset… anxious… fearful, negative emotions, you can be sure that you are thinking about something you do not want — that you want to avoid — or not have / feel. Our thoughts feel like they happen to us and we have no control over them, our thoughts are spontaneous, but you do have control over them and with practice you can exercise great control over how you think, feel and act.

Most problems exist because we do not want to accept the way things are. Whether this is something that has happened. You resist it. You block it. You suppress it – push it down. Sometimes you express it – scream it out! Either way there is another choice. It’s called releasing.

When we grow up, due to social, cultural, family influences and factors, we learn to suppress our negative emotions. You can see how children, in their natural state before this conditioning are very good at expressing their emotions — also releasing them.

What is releasing then? You’ve seen children playing, or you remember when you were little yourself… running around on the playground, then fall down, hurt themselves and then look around to see if anyone is looking… if they have a suitable audience, then they may cry for some attention or run over and to have it looked and ‘kissed better’.

Once they have what they need, they let it go… naturally — and get right back to playing! Children naturally release unwanted emotions. It’s only as we grow up and we are told it’s not okay to express that we learn to suppress. Suppression becomes the most natural thing to do… but it’s also the most harmful to our well being.
How do you re-learn how to release?

As I mentioned, resisting or blocking is the main reason that you hold onto unwanted negative emotions. It may sound paradoxical, but by resisting the way you are feeling, you keep it in place. Even if you are not ready to ‘let it go’ because you’re still mad / sad / hurt / upset… The cure is to feel free to resist, it eliminates itself. I often ask clients to ‘watch themselves with curiosity’ as if they were going to write a research paper on how they do their problem. When you find yourself resisting something instead, just watch, notice… Give yourself permission to feel it… Stopping resisting is just more resisting, and then when you stop trying to stop trying to resist you add another layer, and it just goes on and on.

How are you feeling?

Take a moment of reflection to yourself and tune into what you are feeling in your body.

Ask yourself:

Could I allow myself to feel everything I needed to feel about this?

Whatever it is that you are feeling, could you love or appreciate the feeling exactly as it is?

If not, could you love or appreciate yourself for feeling the feeling?

If not, could you love or appreciate yourself for not being willing or able to love or appreciate yourself for feeling the feeling?

If not, could you find another aspect of whatever you are experiencing until you are feeling a genuine sense of love or appreciation for yourself or the feeling?

Now ask yourself:

Could you let go and release this feeling?

If yes, can you release it now?

If not, when can you release it?

If not, what is the one thing you need to understand before you can release this feeling for good?

The purpose is to let and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel and let it be okay. You’re emotions are a like a navigation system – they are telling you that you need to learn something about the situation so you can grow and get back on course to where you want to be.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel Negative Emotions

By giving yourself permission and releasing negative emotions you reset your body to balance state. Suppressed emotions can cause dis-ease in the body. All challenges / difficulties we face in our lives are only opportunities to learn something about ourselves and how we can love ourselves even more.

It’s okay to feel negative emotions. Emotions are there to be felt. It’s worth reminding you though that when we think of things we don’t want we tend to find more of it. Tune your mind to things you do want and see what you will find instead! Be kind to yourself. You are the only you you have! Negative emotions are only negative in the meaning you apply to it — all emotions have a purpose.

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